"Relationships which work well lead to healthier people who live longer and stronger; people who can cope better with adversity."
- Dr. John Gottman

Dr. Gottman also says that most couples' arguments are about "absolutely nothing." Does that ring a bell? Do you find yourself, after an argument, wondering, "What was THAT all about?"

Leading researchers, including Dr. Gottman, Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Mona DeKoven Fishbane and others have shed light on the answers to the question, "What was THAT all about?" Gottman has conducted research with thousands of couples over 40 years. Dr. Johnson developed Emotion Focused Couples Therapy, which has demonstrated effectiveness in 25 years of peer-reviewed research. And Dr. Fishbane's book, "Loving with the Brain in Mind," lends fascinating insight into the latest neurobiology findings into the dysfunctional dances in which couples get stuck. She explains that, "Doing the same old on automatic pilot will not allow partners to escape from their unhappy dances of disconnection and disconfirmation. Neuroplasticity and relational plasticity need to be nurtured proactively for change to occur in the couple and in each partner." 

In other words -- we can change our brains! And, even better, new neurons and neural connections have been shown to appear throughout the human lifespan!

Bottom line is that we can work together to identify the harmful patterns in your relationship -- how and why they got started, how they escalate and what keeps them going: The answer to, "What was THAT about?" Then, we can work to change those patterns to enhance your connection with your partner. Dr. Brené Brown says, “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

If this sounds like the type of connection you would like with your partner, contact me for more information or with any questions you may have.